在职场中，把“做一个好人”作为你的行事准则，难免会将你引领到过错的方向上。

Rockwell Kent

Are You Naughty or Nice?

此地不需好心肠

尹玉生 编译

I walked out of my client’s office and thought to myself, “Wow, what a nice guy. So genuine and warm. He really understands how to make someone feel comfortable; he must be great to work for.” But by the time I got to my car, my thoughts had drifted to other “nice” people I had met over the years. Sometimes, after seeing them in action, it was evident their nice personality was really their Achilles heel—they were too nice. In other cases, the nice persona was merely a fa?ade, reserved for first meetings and public interactions—over time their real personalities showed through.

So, what is the right amount of “nice”? Here are some scenarios:

Linda is the owner of a staffing firm with twenty employees. She started the firm ten years ago and her first employees were her best friend and her sister. Over the years, she has hired people who were recommended by her close, trusted employees. She believes in creating a family atmosphere, so she doesn’t have too much structure; nor does she have many policies.

Linda was recently criticized by one of her newer employees. She pointed to the fact that Linda pays high bonuses to her long-time, loyal friends/employees, regardless of the job they are in, and she has allowed her friend to take more than thirty days off of work for things such as home repairs, veterinary visits and other personal business. In addition, she refuses to confront an employee who is performing poorly because she is “having problems at home.” Those problems have been going on for two years.

Nice isn’t very nice in this case. Linda treats her business associates as an extension of her family—to the detriment of her business. She is overgenerous to some, turns a blind eye to others, and is demotivating everyone else. In cultures such as this, employees quickly learn that whining, or being the owner’s pal, is a technique that gets rewarded. If you can tell a big enough sob story, you will get what you want. Linda is so worried about hurting someone’s feelings, or not accommodating their personal needs, she can’t see how she is creating an entitled, ungrateful group of manipulators. Meanwhile, hard workers, with a good work ethic, feel unfairly treated.

Paul is a department head who has six managers working for him. Paul can’t seem to stick to a decision. Here’s what happens: After a meeting is held and a decision has been made, inevitably, one of his staff will stop in to his office and start lobbying to make changes to the decision, or push to reverse it altogether. Because Paul is such a nice guy, he entertains everyone’s ideas and considers their view of the situation. So, he will let the person off the hook, or change his mind about the original decision.

Paul tries to please everyone and in the end pleases no one. Rather than pushing for honest dialogue during the meeting, he has meetings after meetings. Instead, he should be asking the lobbyist, “Why didn’t you bring this up in the meeting?” Paul doesn’t want to force a decision because he is worried about looking like a bad guy. People have learned that he is a pushover and doesn’t like conflict, so they lobby one-on-one to get their way. This breaks down trust in the group and breeds a highly political culture.

In my view, being nice has to do with treating people with respect and dignity. It means you care about your employees and their personal lives. But when decisions have to be made, for good business reasons, letting “nice” be your guide will lead you in the wrong direction. You can still be nice when you are saying “no.” (By Joan Lloyd)

我从银行办完事走出来，想到方才那位为我热心服务的年轻人，情不自禁地自语道：“哇，多好的一个家伙啊，又诚实又温暖，他实在懂得怎么才能让他人感到舒适，这样的人在职场应该多多益善。”

但当我坐进车里，我很快就否定了这种主意。在我知道的那些职场失落、失利乃至惨败的人傍边，有不少人都有着广为人称道的古貌古心，他们热心而周到地善待身边的每一个人，而对那些有或许损伤到他人、乃至只是让他人感到不适的言行，他们都会极力防止。无疑，他们是日子中无可争议的好人，但他们的好人道格成为了缺点，终究导致他们在职场中的失利。

他们没有意识到，职场需求的是准则性而不是热心肠。

10年前，我大姐琳达创办了归于自己的家政公司，开始的雇员只需两个人：她的闺中密友和我二姐。跟着时刻的推移，大姐琳达又陆陆续续聘用了不少职工，这些职工无一例外的都是经亲朋引荐、被认为是最值得信任的人，我大姐决心要打造一个具有浓郁家庭气氛、弥漫着温馨亲情的公司，所以，虽然在公司开展的高峰期职工一度超越30人，但琳达既没有构建适于公司开展的合理的安排结构，也没有制定束缚职工的各项规章制度。

在公司接近关闭、难以为继之际，琳达通过我请来了作业经理人汤姆，请汤姆协助寻觅公司经营不善的原因地点。

汤姆通过一番查询后发现，一直以来，红包和奖金都是以跟从了她多长时刻、忠诚程度以及友谊深浅为规范的，而不是作业上的体现。关于接近的职工，比如家里装饰、带宠物看兽医、朋友拜访这类私事，琳达总是大方地给假、延伸假日。琳达也不愿意批判、责备、损伤任何一个体现欠好的职工，由于这会让他们“感触不到家庭的温暖”。

琳达的大方、宽恕、重情重义，实际上损伤了每一个职工的作业积极性，老职工清楚地知道，作业好坏并不重要，重要的是与琳达坚持愈加密切的联系；新职工在诉苦不公的一起，也逐渐地学会了将尽力的要点从作业方面搬运到了取悦、巴结老板上。汤姆在总结中明确地指出：“毫无疑问，正是琳达身上那些令人敬仰和尊重的、充溢人道和关爱的夸姣人品造成了公司眼前的困境。”

另一个相似比如发生在我最喜欢的学生保罗身上。保罗聪明、勤勉、赋有爱心，没有人不喜欢这样的年轻人。他结业后就进入了一家大型钢铁企业，三年后就晋升为分公司企划部分的主管，领导着六名管理人员。走上领导岗位的保罗很快就发现，做一个领导并非一件简略的工作，但他深信，只需行善积德，宽以待人，就能做一名深受欢迎的好领导，但事实是，他的友善乃至使他久久做不出一项决议。

让我们再现一下其时实在的场景：保罗主持会议，与6名部属一起做出了一项决议，散会后，不可防止地，必有一或两名部属停留在办公室，游说他改动这项决议，乃至彻底否定这项决议。保罗不会责问说：“方才，你在会议上为啥不提出来？”他觉得这样的责问既损伤部属自负又显得自己不行体恤部属，因而，他常常设身处地地站在游说者的视点考虑问题，所以，改动初衷便成了粗茶淡饭。保罗总想让每一位部属都满足，但是到最后，不只一切的部属都不满足，连上司也对保罗的才能产生了不满和质疑，只是半年后，保罗就灰溜溜地离开了主管之位。

在职场中，把“做一个好人”作为你的行事准则，难免会将你引领到过错的方向上，因而，要不时知道到，此地并不需求盲目的好心肠，只需以单位的利益为规范，据守准则，勇于说“不”，才或许成为一名胜任的职场人。